Loving the Unlovable


Recently I asked myself this question, “Why am I placed in the middle of some people who are so hard to like?” I know “like” is subjective. And I couldn’t agree more. I must admit that I like people whom I can actually see myself in, especially when it comes to values. For some reason, there is some sort of attraction between people who share the same interests and strengths and/or who hate the same inadequacies. It may be a natural response of our being because then we wouldn’t need to struggle to build a lasting relationship. Or it may also be a matter of belonging.

Oftentimes though, I come across individuals who seem to portray the opposite of who I am (or who I strive to be). I know it is not intentional but for some reason they tip off my temper when I see in them the things that I hate feeling, or doing. And then I ask myself, “I try so hard not to be like that (or not to do that), how can this person find it so easy to do it and not show any sort of remorse?” And then frustration kicks in. Followed repulsion if not controlled earlier. Of course, it should be expected that the feeling is mutual. These people most likely feel the same way towards me.

Having thought of this question, I found myself contemplating on how great it would feel to be surrounded by people who are completely likable or, ultimately, lovable. I thought the world would be totally perfect if that would have been the case. But thank God He gave me a strong nudge of disapproval soon after.

What He revealed to me next was something extraordinarily heart-clenching…

“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” -Matthew 5:46-47

Wow, I never thought I’d say this, but after this revelation, I thank God I have lots of people around me who don’t and possibly won’t love me back. Because only if I can show them love do I actually personify real love. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and my friends, and I’m pretty sure they love me back. But the ultimate test of love is when we freely give it to people who we find unlovable, and those who feel the same towards us.

Finally, the story of Jesus’ descent to this world wraps it all up nicely.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”-John 3:16

God, in all His goodness and perfection would naturally love to be around those who are as holy and perfect as Him. Otherwise His purity would be stained. However, being Love Himself, He still chose to be with us, sinners. We who are totally unlovable because of our transgressions… And He did this by sending His only begotten and beloved Son to die on the cross, in order to give a new life to us. One that is pure and blameless. So that we may be with Him for all eternity. Could there be any bigger love than this?

I’d like to believe that God placing us in the middle of unlovable people is His way of transforming us to be like Him, slowly but surely. Because only when we are made to love the unlovable do we truly maximize the true essence of the word. So that we may love even more, much more.

God bless us all. Stay in love with everyone.


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